Dietary Issues

cow“I’m a beef jerky-aholic.

I need a twelve step program to wean me off the dried cow.”


1,022 thoughts on “Dietary Issues

  1. Treat your addiction to New Mexico dry jerky. (Have you had it?) It was that bovine caviar that led me to face my addiction squarely: I would have driven backwards 100 miles to get just-one-more-teeny-tiny-little–dry-as-desert scrap. I’ve never admitted this before.

  2. Friends who worked in supermarkets used to give me cases of the expired stuff. Even so, I’d spend eight bucks on just a half ounce of premium heavily peppered jerky; the kind you can read a newspaper through.

    But just when I thought I had kicked the habit, the bastards came up with Bacon Jerky!!!! AAAGGGHHHH!!

  3. Greetings from South Africa.

    Thanks for a great blog. As soon as I saw the word Jerky, I knew I was in good company. Although we don’t have actual jerky in South Africa (we’re behind in most things) the early settlers fed themselves on a meat product which appears to be vaguely similar. I’m rather pleased that no 12 step program exists to ‘help’ us with our dependancy as I am persuaded that many of us would simply pine away and die for the lack of it.

    We call the South African version of the stuff – “biltong”.
    By the looks of it, the process is similar to jerky, i.e. you catch and dispatch the desired animal (in as humane a manner as possible – apeasing the Green Peace bods who, I’m sure do a great job), cut it up into meaty strips, spice it and let it hang to dry – somewhere where the cat won’t get at it…. After a time, one brings it down from its drying place and, with orgasmic expressions of delight on the face, munches away happily – keeping out of mischief and generally being a credit to the human race.

    In the early years, southern Africa was pretty much wall-to-wall animals. It was thus a heck of a lot easier and quicker to shoot a cow/buck/ostrich/buffalo than it was to cultivate a crop of something vegetarian. It’s logical to conclude that biltong was even more popular then than it is today.

    You will find biltong pretty much everywhere in southern Africa where snacks are consumed (parties, sports matches, corporate events – although it is considered bad taste to bring a lump to a funeral). Mass produced biltong is available in most shops, but the really good stuff is manufactured by farmers, hunters, ‘real’ butchers and enthusiasts such as yours truly.

    We are not only manufacturers of the stuff, but pushers as well – adopting such heartless tactics as offering small free samples to victims to seduce the taste buds and get them addicted…. but that’s capitalism for you. So if you ever visit sunny South Africa and you’re feeling a bit lost, just utter the word ‘biltong’ to the nearest person and he or she will come over all friendly like and point you in the direction of your nearest fix.

    Well, if I haven’t bored you into a coma, and if you’d like a recipe – pop over to the blog and get it here – free 🙂

    • Yes, biltong is the same thing! And it is delicious love! The small joints, hunters, butchers and the like are definitely the “in” for getting the best jerky. You know I was desperate for a quick fix last night when I hit up my big box store for some over the counter mass produced “quick fix” replacement.

      And your comment only increased my insatiable appetite for jerky…

      • Oh well, even in the worst times you can find in yourself a strength you never knew you had.

        In my case, it was those old memories, the ones you can fix in your mind in near perfect detail.

        I’m remembering some of them now…

        Though there’re way more flying robots and aliens in them than I think was actually realistic.

      • And you’re a good jerky addict llama, to mine.
        Live long and prosper.

        I can’t make an entire comment serious, profound, or emotionally meaningful. I’m contractually obligated.

        Seriously, though, you’re the friendliest person I’ve met in a long time. Always be as open and welcoming and you’ll find more friends than enemies.

      • I am me.. I always will be. 🙂

        And I totally made the ‘live long and prosper” hand sign subconsciously when I read that. I am a serious nerd.

        I figure anyone that I can talk this much nonsense with for as long as we have has just enough neuron misfiring in his head to be someone I can get along with.

        And by nonsense, I of course, mean complete and total logical meanderings of the mind.