“Second piece of advice for free:
Be everything he needs you to be, and only some of what
he wants you to be. If you give him everything
there will be nothing to want for.
advice
Priceless Advice
“I’m full of gems, it’s just hard to get people to listen.”
Now Listen Up
“I just said, “I hear you” with
full intent to not follow that particular bit of advice.”
Sage Speak
“Life here is peppered with
pearls of wisdom. Aren’t you glad you came?”
Sexpert Advice
“I have to ask you a question.
You’re my resident sex expert after all.”
Grandmotherly Wisdom
“Advice you don’t want to get from
your grandmother… ‘shaved crotches are itchy.'”
Flexible Moves
“I’d kick myself in the head, but let’s face it, I am just not that flexible.”
“I am that flexible, but kicking yourself in the head hurts a
lot more than you would think. I don’t advise it.”
Line Of The Week 