“My momma always said I needed
goals and dreams in life. Little did she know that my
dreams were stabbing idiots.”
work
Slave To The System
“I’m already some old
man’s bitch. His name is Uncle Sam.“
Blatant Friend Abuse
“I have nefarious plans to use you until you hate me.”
Fan Line Of The Week #7
“She added me on LinkedIn. Do you think she is spying on me?
– No, that would be the NSA.”
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Job Choices
“Probably better money in it than my short lived twerking career.”
Line Of The Week 