And spin… You are one heck of a dancer.. perhaps we can get a gig on Soul Train?
I knew there was no way the music world could keep Spazzmatism and Heebiejeebies out of the spotlight for long!
*plunges*
*Spins around wildly, keeping feet stationary*
I particularly like when you do the sprinkler.
Do you mean-
*points into the distance, watering the lawn with an imaginary hose*
Or-
*Raises one hand, points, then the other, points, like a sprinkler shooting out water from either side*
The deal where you grabbed the back of your head with one hand and suck your other arm out and herky jerky moved across your body while twisting your torso.
You gave me roofies while I was having a seizure, didn’t you?
You asked for them.
But wait… I asked for them the day after that…
Chalk it up to continuity problems?
Maybe I am psychic and knew you were going to ask?
Maybe I am psychic and knew you were going to suggest that you were psychic.
What color shirt am I wearing?
You aren’t wearing a shirt, you’re wearing a rainbow sarong.
*looks down*
busted
Are you also wearing one of those rastafarian rainbow hats?
*looks up*
busted
And… shoes… shoes… SHOES!
The spirit realm tells me you’re wearing… purple crocs!
*looks down*
Ummmm nope…
Damn…
Those sandals that have a plastic thing that goes between your big toe and your index toe?
*snorts@’index toe’*
Well what do you call it?
I don’t have a name for it… and quit staring at my feet..
*Stares feet to death*
*wiggles nameless toes*
*eats sandwich while still attempting to stare feet to death*
*Is distracted by sandwich*
What kind?
Chicken. Nothing on it, just some really well made chicken. Family recipe.
Mmm, salty.
*looks longingly at Naked Chicken sandwich*
*chicken sandwich slaps you*
Fresh!
*Coyly looks at undressed chicken sandwich*
*chicken sandwich blushes*
*Bats eyes at chicken sandwich*
So, what’s a sandwich like you doing in a place like this?
“Oh, just leaving crumbs all over Sertimer’s iPad.”
*makes circles on table with shard of chicken*
You come here often? I’ve seen many sandwiches, but none quite like you…
*sips ice water*
*Giggles, clucks*
“Oh, I show up here almost every day around lunch…”
*nibbles on a pretzel stick*
Where’s your other half? You come here alone?
My other half is sitting in some tupperware to keep it fresh.
*bats nonexistent eyelashes*
so.. there is another half…
But the tupperware has made it all soggy…
Are you saying your other half isn’t good for much?
No, it’s just really soggy… yeuuugh…
ew… Although I am hungry, I can’t eat chicken and dumplings for a third meal in a row.
I was actually eating a hamburger.
Oh that sounds good…
QUIT TALKING ABOUT FOOD! I need to grocery shop…
I also ate a whole banana in one bite when I woke up.
*pictures a Conehead eating a Subway sandwich*
*skidding car laugh*
The best thing about eating a banana in one bite is that it turns into a smoothie in your mouth.
That. is. gross.
I suppose this could be the real deal breaker…
But I’m all out of bananas…
Can you eat them with your back turned to me?
Yeah… I guess…
Awwww now I feel bad for being so demanding… How about you buy those mini bananas instead?
*wipes away tears*
I guess that’d be okay…
*uses llama hair*
*pats you on the head*
Can I have a banana now?
*hands you one miniature banana, freshly peeled*
Can I have phish food instead?
*hands you a single scoop phish food cone, after taking a bite*
Screw the banana, then…
*grabs phish food and shoves into face in one bite*
*is somehow less grossed out by that*
*points to your chin*
Got a little something there…
It’s my fake pharaoh beard.
my side is cramping from laughing… seriously I am having to sit like a contortionist.
And anyone actually reading these comments will have no clue that we have conversations going on in 4 different venues, each with 4 or so sub-conversations. We are our own soap opera…
My entire mid-section is burning from this.
I have a feeling we’re about to suddenly cut to us standing in a bowling alley screaming at each other, me dressed up as a pirate and you as Jasmine from Aladdin.
And another Disney reference from the mint!
Suddenly we’ll be standing in a Laser Tag arena, and our clothes will be switched.
Ohhhh! I get the shiny plastic shirt open to my navel? Can I motion you with my finger?
Yes, but I get to keep the fuzzy hearts falling around me.
Can I have just a few? It adds to the ambiance of the ensemble…
Fine, you can have four of them.
But the wind is still blowing my fluffy mullet hair back.
*is mesmerized by your fluffy mullet hair*
*Fluffy mullet unravels slightly, shooting back strands behind me*
(Also, I really hope nobody signed up for followup comments)
*checks*
Phew.. no one signed up for comments.. LOL
That was a close one… I really don’t want anyone to see me dressed up as Princess Jasmine… or you in a full chest revealing plastic disco shirt.
*snort*
Don’t worry, my chest hair hides everything.
I didn’t need to hear that.
Or see that.
bwahahahahahhahaha
Don’t worry, it is a chest hair tank top… I’m not a floozy…
Good… but where did you get the chest hair fo-
*looks down at my chest, suddenly smooth*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
CUT SCENE CUT SCENE
SWAP!! SWAP!! This is SOOOO itchy!!!
NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!
*rubs chest and is thankful for no chest hair*
*scratches midsection furiously*
*tosses a sphere of wonder into the air*
*leaps into air, grabbing sphere in mouth*
*falls to ground, lying on side, gnawing happily on ball while scratching chest with foot*
*rubs belly*
*purrs*
Oh wait, wrong animal
*barks while smiling from ear to ear, tongue lolling out*
*tosses sphere of pure joy*
A BASEBALL?!
*tears off running after it*
*files “sphere of pure joy” away for future bribing*
You’ve already scheduled marrying me for 2017, what else could you need it for?
It’s always good to be prepared for anything. It’s not as though I planned the whole marriage thing.
(Option 1:
OR DID YOU?!
*Pulls off mask to reveal identity as secret plans to marry Sertimer*)
(Option 2:
I have a bad feeling about what you might get me into…)
Option 3: none OR all of the above.
None of them really offer anywhere to go from here…
Though I am starting to get really curious and a little scared of what you might bribe me into…
*reserves the right to use irresistible bribe in the future*
I’m not telling you what I have up my sleeve.
What is it?!
My questioning consciousness needs to inquire!
*channels Crab Nicholson*
You can’t HANDLE THE TRUTH!!
*channels Lobster Stewart*
Earl grey. Hot.
*daintily sips tea with pinky raised*
*eats crumpet*
(high pitched voice, British accent)
Quite a nice day we’re having.
It’s minty fresh.
*sparkly smile*
Ohbit Gahm.
*grins*
*sparklesparklesparkle*
Wait… Are we back to Edvard?!?
Seven hund-red and ninety-nine punches to Edvard’s face!
*Kapow*
Ah-ah-ah!
Eight hund-red punches to Edvard’s face!
*claps encouragingly and counts along*
Vonce we reach a thousand, we will move on to ze rest of ze cast!
*cheers wildly*
This is the most popular episode of Sesame Street ever.
*makes it into a movie that is better than all twilight movies combined*
Epic music plays for ten hours straight, during a montage of Count bashing the Twilight characters’ faces in slow motion.
Opening night: $290,000,000,000.
*splits profits with you 50/50*
Everybody in the world attended the movie during its run. They didn’t even take it out of theaters, they just kept as a permanent feature in every cinema in the world. They even built theaters in third world countries so people could see it.
Where the people there would count along in their native tongues to each punch while cackling with glee!
It really does improve the quality of their squalor.
They now have corrugated tin roofs instead of cardboard!
Wow!
Our movie did a lot to help…
That and each village got a goat!
But we can always do better… upgrade those tin roofs to stucco, those goats to llamas…
*listens as you deliver a profound speech about bettering the world*
Better, better is what we do! Because bettering things is bettering ourselves, and bettering ourselves is bettering things, and bettering things is bettering the children’s playgrounds, the apartments, the chandeliers, and the tables of dinner.
So, I say to my brothers, we shall fight for our cause. I say to my sisters, we will fight for the paws. And, I say to my self, teriyaki shouldn’t be cheaper than regular!
We can make this believe a better place if world we do! It is time to take a step, a stand, and a boldly moving forward!
Can we yes?
*fist pumps while chanting*
Yes We Better!!
Bettering! Bettering the butter! Buttering the batter!
We are the batterers of the buttering batter bettering!
*Bleats in cheer*
Bleating! Bleating the battered buttered bettered houses!
Because we can! Because… we should! Because who would?
Butter! Bleating butter batter!
*blinks*
Blinking batter bleating! Taking… the butter… and the batter, and bleating the battered bleating bettered blink houses into one, glorious, butterbatterbleaterblinker!!
*twitches*
Twitching! Twitching, with buttery goodness! On sale this bleating day! With blinking, close at heart, we continue our journey, with our heroes, Blinky, Buttery, Bettery, Bleaty, and Twitchy!
*slowly removes the microphone and podium from in front of you*
*walks off stage, waving arms wildly in the air while talking to myself about butter*
Butter, butter bleater blinker… bleating butter better!
Yes, can we?
Butter! Butter is what we can!
* cheers a small cheer *
*muttering slowly fades as I walk out of room, down hall*
End scene!
*Then fade to black, as words scrawl across the screen,*
Fegniburt Hinkleberry was possibly the greatest politician this world has ever seen. His policies on butter, bleating, and blinking were like nothing anyone had ever seen before.
His work contributed to the lives of at least two people, and saved no others. He was a blinking visionary, a buttery scholar, and a bleating speaker.
He was, most importantly… a true American hero.
GI JOE!
*audience goes silent as they realize this was based on actual events, filmed live as they occurred in front of a live studio audience*
“Filmed in front of alive studio audience” is the only way this could be done.
It could have been a horror film…
I didn’t think it was that horrific, but I pictured him as a mix between Mr. Rogers and Howard Hughes.
Oddly enough that is the image I had, just without a name…
That’s weird…
In all fairness it started out at MLK… then morphed into a white guy in a sweater.
Pretty much the same for me, I think I might have first pictured me in a suit…
The sweater is spot on, I was picturing yellow.
Beige… LOL
Don’t make me sing I’m Beige, da ba de, da ba die again…
But it WAS the best song to ever hit the internet!
It was also the easiest to write, considering I just had to copy and pa-
*realizes you might not have heard I’m Blue, da ba dee, da ba die*
-Considering I’m just so naturally talented.
Of course I have heard it.. No TV, not no radi…. wait wait… In my car I have a radio…
Oh…
Well, it was difficult to avoid typing “blue” instead of “beige”
The struggles you have as an arteest!
The snack arteest!
Unless you work at Subway.. then you are the Sandwich Arteest!
Or McDonalds, in which case I am the Pink Slime Arteest!
EWWWWWW
Indeed, the EWWWWWtest!
LOL
*glows once again*
UGH STUPID WP… it has joined yahoo’s evil army!!!
What did WP do?
Half of my comment replies won’t send. Frustrating.
I am going to have to call it a night anyhow. I am exhausted and that whole pesky 5 am thing will happen all too soon.
Good night!
It seems like the internet is out to get us…
Apparently…
I enjoyed today and look forward to tomorrow!
As with every day of this conversation.
Without a doubt!
*feels around mop of chest hair*
*pulls out tupperware box*
Oh, there’s the other half of my chicken sandwich! I knew I gave it to you for safekeeping!
First poking… now feeling me up?
If it’s just a tank top, then I wasn’t doing anything…
It is just a tank top, right?
Yeah.. it’s just a tank top… you’re safe…
*Looks furtively at tank top*
*Avoids questions that pop into mind*
*wonders what the question was*
*Squirms, hoping you don’t guess it*
*taps her hoof insistently*
*Covers mouth, shaking head furiously with eyes closed*
doooooo iiiiiiitttttttt ANSWER!
NOOOOOO!
*Pulls out censored bar, hits button on it and a lightsaber pops out*
Do you not know the level of Jedi that I truly am?
No, I’m underestimating your power!
You never give me any credit.
*sobs*
Oh, I’m sorry, Llamakin…
*hands you a tissue made from your hair*
*blows nose*
It’s okay… shhh, shhh…
Who’s the chosen one? You’re the chosen one… cheer up….
*cheers up*
*wildly swings lightsaber around*
*twirls lightsaber impressively, making trippy laser vortex*
Oooh Aaaaaah Oooh
*gets distracted by color vortex*
*cuts off free arm*
Damn it, I’m going to have to get another replacement…
I like this a lot more than the old version…
Me too!
Just imagine all of this taking place with the epic music and chorus in the background…
HOOOOOOOOWAAAAAAAH
“It’s okay, Anakin, cheer up…”
HAAAAHOOOOHAAAAAA
“It’s just so hard being the corrupted chosen one…”
HEEEEEEEEEEDAAAAAAA
“I know, I know, don’t worry, it’ll be okay…”
HADAHEDAHADAHODAHADAAAAAAAAA
*doot doot doot doot, doot doot doodoodoo*
ANAKIN???? Whhhhhaaaaat??
*Darth Vader
Let’s just forget the whole Anakin thing ever happened…
Especially the Amidala stuff…
Yes, please.
“Now this is podracing!”
*shudders*
I regret typing that…
And remembering that part where the kid blew up that entire space station and all those annoying librarians with funny hats cheered him on.
Quit talking about it!!
THE THINGS I’VE SEEN… I CAN’T GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD!!
NO…
NO…
NOT JAR JAR!
*puts in ear plugs*
*huddles in corner, holding knees and rocking back and forth*
Wesa goin’ home… wesa goin’ home…
*shivers*
The cereal with letters! It says nasty things in my milk.
Oh man! I would probably laugh hysterically if my cereal talked to me dirty!
I just wish my cereal could be more romantic sometimes.
I would look for a hidden camera if my cereal told me I was beautiful… LOL
Going between both of y’alls blogs and reading all the comments is making me dizzy. Y’all are crazy! Plus I am pretty sure I don’t like you buddy! She dumped me for you and then y’all have this long comment conversation rubbing it in my face…not cool. Not cool at all. *snort*
Seriously don’t understand why I can’t reply directly to you. But anyway….I might like. Depends on what you can offer? What kind of bribes are we talking about here?
I don’t have much to offer up front, but I do have one thing you just can’t beat- connections!
I can make you a star! An actor, I know Universal Studios! A writer, I know Pendant Publishing! A tweeter, I know Twitter! An actual star, I know the guy who registers them and he’s really lax!
Any other career, I can’t help you. I only know like, ten people.
Well honestly none of those appeal to me. I don’t like being the center of attention for any reason what so ever. My twins however LOVE it. But they are only 3 what do they know. However I think I might like you. Using your 10 friends and connections to try and win me over might just work. I will have to sleep on it though and get back to you tomorrow.
I will have my people call (message) your people and let you know what the verdict is. 😉
“Probably better money in it than my short lived twerking career.”
What is that? Chocolate alphabet soup?
Looks tasty. Like I could go Miley Cyrus all over that!!
Tasty??
If you go all Miley can you film it and slap it up on your blog?!? Hahahaha
Only if my tongue is as long as hers.
Guess you’d have to measure.
Haha! Maybe it’s best to do a side by side comparison…
I want to see that!
Well, not sure if I would permit tongue counting of my molars.
I am literally laughing out loud here… While Salt n’ Pepa is STILL in my head!
Hah! Right now, I’m histerical. Just like Davy Crockett’s wild Front Earrr!
If you are going to get a different song stuck in my head must it be…
Davvvvvy Davvvvvy Crockettttt
King of the wild fronnnnt eeearrr
GAH!!
Sorry, it’s on my blog. Took only 5 mins to type but was good for hysterical outbursts all week.
And now I have to go look to completely cement it in my head this morning.
I apologize for that. Oh wait, another attack of hysteria!!!
*looks at you pointedly*
Rereading this is hilarious!!!
Go slurp some soup….
(I always feel like I need to add a smily so people will know I am joking.)
I thank you for a wonderful end to my day.
And same to you, for a great start to mine!
Quit poking me!
NO! I AM A POKER AND I MUST POKE!
And spin… You are one heck of a dancer.. perhaps we can get a gig on Soul Train?
I knew there was no way the music world could keep Spazzmatism and Heebiejeebies out of the spotlight for long!
*plunges*
*Spins around wildly, keeping feet stationary*
I particularly like when you do the sprinkler.
Do you mean-
*points into the distance, watering the lawn with an imaginary hose*
Or-
*Raises one hand, points, then the other, points, like a sprinkler shooting out water from either side*
The deal where you grabbed the back of your head with one hand and suck your other arm out and herky jerky moved across your body while twisting your torso.
You gave me roofies while I was having a seizure, didn’t you?
You asked for them.
But wait… I asked for them the day after that…
Chalk it up to continuity problems?
Maybe I am psychic and knew you were going to ask?
Maybe I am psychic and knew you were going to suggest that you were psychic.
What color shirt am I wearing?
You aren’t wearing a shirt, you’re wearing a rainbow sarong.
*looks down*
busted
Are you also wearing one of those rastafarian rainbow hats?
*looks up*
busted
And… shoes… shoes… SHOES!
The spirit realm tells me you’re wearing… purple crocs!
*looks down*
Ummmm nope…
Damn…
Those sandals that have a plastic thing that goes between your big toe and your index toe?
*snorts@’index toe’*
Well what do you call it?
I don’t have a name for it… and quit staring at my feet..
*Stares feet to death*
*wiggles nameless toes*
*eats sandwich while still attempting to stare feet to death*
*Is distracted by sandwich*
What kind?
Chicken. Nothing on it, just some really well made chicken. Family recipe.
Mmm, salty.
*looks longingly at Naked Chicken sandwich*
*chicken sandwich slaps you*
Fresh!
*Coyly looks at undressed chicken sandwich*
*chicken sandwich blushes*
*Bats eyes at chicken sandwich*
So, what’s a sandwich like you doing in a place like this?
“Oh, just leaving crumbs all over Sertimer’s iPad.”
*makes circles on table with shard of chicken*
You come here often? I’ve seen many sandwiches, but none quite like you…
*sips ice water*
*Giggles, clucks*
“Oh, I show up here almost every day around lunch…”
*nibbles on a pretzel stick*
Where’s your other half? You come here alone?
My other half is sitting in some tupperware to keep it fresh.
*bats nonexistent eyelashes*
so.. there is another half…
But the tupperware has made it all soggy…
Are you saying your other half isn’t good for much?
No, it’s just really soggy… yeuuugh…
ew… Although I am hungry, I can’t eat chicken and dumplings for a third meal in a row.
I was actually eating a hamburger.
Oh that sounds good…
QUIT TALKING ABOUT FOOD! I need to grocery shop…
I also ate a whole banana in one bite when I woke up.
*pictures a Conehead eating a Subway sandwich*
*skidding car laugh*
The best thing about eating a banana in one bite is that it turns into a smoothie in your mouth.
That. is. gross.
I suppose this could be the real deal breaker…
But I’m all out of bananas…
Can you eat them with your back turned to me?
Yeah… I guess…
Awwww now I feel bad for being so demanding… How about you buy those mini bananas instead?
*wipes away tears*
I guess that’d be okay…
*uses llama hair*
*pats you on the head*
Can I have a banana now?
*hands you one miniature banana, freshly peeled*
Can I have phish food instead?
*hands you a single scoop phish food cone, after taking a bite*
Screw the banana, then…
*grabs phish food and shoves into face in one bite*
*is somehow less grossed out by that*
*points to your chin*
Got a little something there…
It’s my fake pharaoh beard.
my side is cramping from laughing… seriously I am having to sit like a contortionist.
And anyone actually reading these comments will have no clue that we have conversations going on in 4 different venues, each with 4 or so sub-conversations. We are our own soap opera…
My entire mid-section is burning from this.
I have a feeling we’re about to suddenly cut to us standing in a bowling alley screaming at each other, me dressed up as a pirate and you as Jasmine from Aladdin.
And another Disney reference from the mint!
Suddenly we’ll be standing in a Laser Tag arena, and our clothes will be switched.
Ohhhh! I get the shiny plastic shirt open to my navel? Can I motion you with my finger?
Yes, but I get to keep the fuzzy hearts falling around me.
Can I have just a few? It adds to the ambiance of the ensemble…
Fine, you can have four of them.
But the wind is still blowing my fluffy mullet hair back.
*is mesmerized by your fluffy mullet hair*
*Fluffy mullet unravels slightly, shooting back strands behind me*
(Also, I really hope nobody signed up for followup comments)
*checks*
Phew.. no one signed up for comments.. LOL
That was a close one… I really don’t want anyone to see me dressed up as Princess Jasmine… or you in a full chest revealing plastic disco shirt.
*snort*
Don’t worry, my chest hair hides everything.
I didn’t need to hear that.
Or see that.
bwahahahahahhahaha
Don’t worry, it is a chest hair tank top… I’m not a floozy…
Good… but where did you get the chest hair fo-
*looks down at my chest, suddenly smooth*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
CUT SCENE CUT SCENE
SWAP!! SWAP!! This is SOOOO itchy!!!
NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!
*rubs chest and is thankful for no chest hair*
*scratches midsection furiously*
*tosses a sphere of wonder into the air*
*leaps into air, grabbing sphere in mouth*
*falls to ground, lying on side, gnawing happily on ball while scratching chest with foot*
*rubs belly*
*purrs*
Oh wait, wrong animal
*barks while smiling from ear to ear, tongue lolling out*
*tosses sphere of pure joy*
A BASEBALL?!
*tears off running after it*
*files “sphere of pure joy” away for future bribing*
You’ve already scheduled marrying me for 2017, what else could you need it for?
It’s always good to be prepared for anything. It’s not as though I planned the whole marriage thing.
(Option 1:
OR DID YOU?!
*Pulls off mask to reveal identity as secret plans to marry Sertimer*)
(Option 2:
I have a bad feeling about what you might get me into…)
Option 3: none OR all of the above.
None of them really offer anywhere to go from here…
Though I am starting to get really curious and a little scared of what you might bribe me into…
*reserves the right to use irresistible bribe in the future*
I’m not telling you what I have up my sleeve.
What is it?!
My questioning consciousness needs to inquire!
*channels Crab Nicholson*
You can’t HANDLE THE TRUTH!!
*channels Lobster Stewart*
Earl grey. Hot.
*daintily sips tea with pinky raised*
*eats crumpet*
(high pitched voice, British accent)
Quite a nice day we’re having.
It’s minty fresh.
*sparkly smile*
Ohbit Gahm.
*grins*
*sparklesparklesparkle*
Wait… Are we back to Edvard?!?
Seven hund-red and ninety-nine punches to Edvard’s face!
*Kapow*
Ah-ah-ah!
Eight hund-red punches to Edvard’s face!
*claps encouragingly and counts along*
Vonce we reach a thousand, we will move on to ze rest of ze cast!
*cheers wildly*
This is the most popular episode of Sesame Street ever.
*makes it into a movie that is better than all twilight movies combined*
Epic music plays for ten hours straight, during a montage of Count bashing the Twilight characters’ faces in slow motion.
Opening night: $290,000,000,000.
*splits profits with you 50/50*
Everybody in the world attended the movie during its run. They didn’t even take it out of theaters, they just kept as a permanent feature in every cinema in the world. They even built theaters in third world countries so people could see it.
Where the people there would count along in their native tongues to each punch while cackling with glee!
It really does improve the quality of their squalor.
They now have corrugated tin roofs instead of cardboard!
Wow!
Our movie did a lot to help…
That and each village got a goat!
But we can always do better… upgrade those tin roofs to stucco, those goats to llamas…
*listens as you deliver a profound speech about bettering the world*
Better, better is what we do! Because bettering things is bettering ourselves, and bettering ourselves is bettering things, and bettering things is bettering the children’s playgrounds, the apartments, the chandeliers, and the tables of dinner.
So, I say to my brothers, we shall fight for our cause. I say to my sisters, we will fight for the paws. And, I say to my self, teriyaki shouldn’t be cheaper than regular!
We can make this believe a better place if world we do! It is time to take a step, a stand, and a boldly moving forward!
Can we yes?
*fist pumps while chanting*
Yes We Better!!
Bettering! Bettering the butter! Buttering the batter!
We are the batterers of the buttering batter bettering!
*Bleats in cheer*
Bleating! Bleating the battered buttered bettered houses!
Because we can! Because… we should! Because who would?
Butter! Bleating butter batter!
*blinks*
Blinking batter bleating! Taking… the butter… and the batter, and bleating the battered bleating bettered blink houses into one, glorious, butterbatterbleaterblinker!!
*twitches*
Twitching! Twitching, with buttery goodness! On sale this bleating day! With blinking, close at heart, we continue our journey, with our heroes, Blinky, Buttery, Bettery, Bleaty, and Twitchy!
*slowly removes the microphone and podium from in front of you*
*walks off stage, waving arms wildly in the air while talking to myself about butter*
Butter, butter bleater blinker… bleating butter better!
Yes, can we?
Butter! Butter is what we can!
* cheers a small cheer *
*muttering slowly fades as I walk out of room, down hall*
End scene!
*Then fade to black, as words scrawl across the screen,*
Fegniburt Hinkleberry was possibly the greatest politician this world has ever seen. His policies on butter, bleating, and blinking were like nothing anyone had ever seen before.
His work contributed to the lives of at least two people, and saved no others. He was a blinking visionary, a buttery scholar, and a bleating speaker.
He was, most importantly… a true American hero.
GI JOE!
*audience goes silent as they realize this was based on actual events, filmed live as they occurred in front of a live studio audience*
“Filmed in front of alive studio audience” is the only way this could be done.
It could have been a horror film…
I didn’t think it was that horrific, but I pictured him as a mix between Mr. Rogers and Howard Hughes.
Oddly enough that is the image I had, just without a name…
That’s weird…
In all fairness it started out at MLK… then morphed into a white guy in a sweater.
Pretty much the same for me, I think I might have first pictured me in a suit…
The sweater is spot on, I was picturing yellow.
Beige… LOL
Don’t make me sing I’m Beige, da ba de, da ba die again…
But it WAS the best song to ever hit the internet!
It was also the easiest to write, considering I just had to copy and pa-
*realizes you might not have heard I’m Blue, da ba dee, da ba die*
-Considering I’m just so naturally talented.
Of course I have heard it.. No TV, not no radi…. wait wait… In my car I have a radio…
Oh…
Well, it was difficult to avoid typing “blue” instead of “beige”
The struggles you have as an arteest!
The snack arteest!
Unless you work at Subway.. then you are the Sandwich Arteest!
Or McDonalds, in which case I am the Pink Slime Arteest!
EWWWWWW
Indeed, the EWWWWWtest!
LOL
*glows once again*
UGH STUPID WP… it has joined yahoo’s evil army!!!
What did WP do?
Half of my comment replies won’t send. Frustrating.
I am going to have to call it a night anyhow. I am exhausted and that whole pesky 5 am thing will happen all too soon.
Good night!
It seems like the internet is out to get us…
Apparently…
I enjoyed today and look forward to tomorrow!
As with every day of this conversation.
Without a doubt!
*feels around mop of chest hair*
*pulls out tupperware box*
Oh, there’s the other half of my chicken sandwich! I knew I gave it to you for safekeeping!
First poking… now feeling me up?
If it’s just a tank top, then I wasn’t doing anything…
It is just a tank top, right?
Yeah.. it’s just a tank top… you’re safe…
*Looks furtively at tank top*
*Avoids questions that pop into mind*
*wonders what the question was*
*Squirms, hoping you don’t guess it*
*taps her hoof insistently*
*Covers mouth, shaking head furiously with eyes closed*
doooooo iiiiiiitttttttt ANSWER!
NOOOOOO!
*Pulls out censored bar, hits button on it and a lightsaber pops out*
Do you not know the level of Jedi that I truly am?
No, I’m underestimating your power!
You never give me any credit.
*sobs*
Oh, I’m sorry, Llamakin…
*hands you a tissue made from your hair*
*blows nose*
It’s okay… shhh, shhh…
Who’s the chosen one? You’re the chosen one… cheer up….
*cheers up*
*wildly swings lightsaber around*
*twirls lightsaber impressively, making trippy laser vortex*
Oooh Aaaaaah Oooh
*gets distracted by color vortex*
*cuts off free arm*
Damn it, I’m going to have to get another replacement…
I like this a lot more than the old version…
Me too!
Just imagine all of this taking place with the epic music and chorus in the background…
HOOOOOOOOWAAAAAAAH
“It’s okay, Anakin, cheer up…”
HAAAAHOOOOHAAAAAA
“It’s just so hard being the corrupted chosen one…”
HEEEEEEEEEEDAAAAAAA
“I know, I know, don’t worry, it’ll be okay…”
HADAHEDAHADAHODAHADAAAAAAAAA
*doot doot doot doot, doot doot doodoodoo*
ANAKIN???? Whhhhhaaaaat??
*Darth Vader
Let’s just forget the whole Anakin thing ever happened…
Especially the Amidala stuff…
Yes, please.
“Now this is podracing!”
*shudders*
I regret typing that…
And remembering that part where the kid blew up that entire space station and all those annoying librarians with funny hats cheered him on.
Quit talking about it!!
THE THINGS I’VE SEEN… I CAN’T GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD!!
NO…
NO…
NOT JAR JAR!
*puts in ear plugs*
*huddles in corner, holding knees and rocking back and forth*
Wesa goin’ home… wesa goin’ home…
*shivers*
Alphabets say even worse words. At least for me.
I personally have never met a talking alphabet…. LOL
The cereal with letters! It says nasty things in my milk.
Oh man! I would probably laugh hysterically if my cereal talked to me dirty!
I just wish my cereal could be more romantic sometimes.
I would look for a hidden camera if my cereal told me I was beautiful… LOL
Going between both of y’alls blogs and reading all the comments is making me dizzy. Y’all are crazy! Plus I am pretty sure I don’t like you buddy! She dumped me for you and then y’all have this long comment conversation rubbing it in my face…not cool. Not cool at all. *snort*
Awww…
Why can’t we be friends?
I’m sure you’ll like me once you get to know me.
Or once I bribe you to like me.
Seriously don’t understand why I can’t reply directly to you. But anyway….I might like. Depends on what you can offer? What kind of bribes are we talking about here?
I don’t have much to offer up front, but I do have one thing you just can’t beat- connections!
I can make you a star! An actor, I know Universal Studios! A writer, I know Pendant Publishing! A tweeter, I know Twitter! An actual star, I know the guy who registers them and he’s really lax!
Any other career, I can’t help you. I only know like, ten people.
Well honestly none of those appeal to me. I don’t like being the center of attention for any reason what so ever. My twins however LOVE it. But they are only 3 what do they know. However I think I might like you. Using your 10 friends and connections to try and win me over might just work. I will have to sleep on it though and get back to you tomorrow.
I will have my people call (message) your people and let you know what the verdict is. 😉
I actually have people? I was just making all that stuff up!
LOL!
It’s been awhile! Good to see you!
Yeah it has. I’m having trouble keeping up with things. Sorry about that!
I totally understand! Just wanted you to know you were missed!!
Aw, thanks. 😀